Don't Leave Important Decisions to Chance
Create a ritual to support your decision-making process.
A large part of what determines your future self are the decisions you make today1. For example, in 2009, I decided to leave my hometown to explore a long distance relationship. I left my home, family, friends, and livelihood behind. That decision changed my relationship with life and forked a new path for me. I had no idea at the time what the future consequences would be, but I knew in my heart it was the right decision.
The key to making good decisions is to know in your heart that you’re making the right decision. You don’t have to figure everything out. It’s an impossible task to predict all the future consequences of your decisions. Trying to figure out the consequences will keep you stuck in your head. Your logic is designed to help, but it’s designed to keep you safe and in your comfort zone. You will have limited growth experiences and missed opportunities if you leave your decisions to logic.
Another downside to logic is the wrong emotions get involved with your decision making process. Imagine being stuck in your head trying to make an important decision. If I go this route, then x could happen. But if I go this route, then y could happen. But what about this route? If I go that way, then xyz could happen. Oh the torture! We have all been there with paralysis of analysis, and the emotions that accompany that state of being are often fear, anxiousness, and worry.
Making important decisions is not solely a logical process. Decision making is an emotional endeavor, too. The HeartMath Institute defines the optimal state of being for making decisions as coherence.
“Coherence is the state when the heart, mind and emotions are in energetic alignment and cooperation. It is a state that builds resiliency—personal energy is accumulated, not wasted—leaving more energy to manifest intentions and harmonious outcomes.”
— HeartMath Institute
You can trust yourself in the state of coherence because you’re relying on guidance from your heart-mind. The studies have shown that the optimal state of being is embodying emotions of appreciation, gratitude, and love when making decisions.
Think of your emotions as the compass to the outcomes you desire. Anger, fear, and worry point toward certain outcomes; appreciation, gratitude, and love point toward certain outcomes.
Which compass do you prefer when making decisions?
Decision Ritual
Don’t leave your important decision to chance. Get into the state of coherence by creating a decision ritual. Your decision ritual is a planned series of steps that you perform to get into the optimal state of coherence. Think of the ritual as action steps to activate appreciation, gratitude, and love.
Anytime I’m faced with an important decision—a decision that doesn’t need an immediate answer—I perform my ritual and then make the decision. I trust that I’m making the best decision that I can because I was in the optimal state of being while making that decision.
Here is the short-hand version of my decision-making ritual. You are welcome to copy my ritual, but I recommend that you come up with your own so that it’s meaningful to you.
1. Journal about the decision in front of me and get all of my worries on paper.
2. Exercise for 30 minutes and listen to the song Threads by This Will Destroy You.
3. Swipe through my “Appreciation and Gratitude” photo album on my phone to recall some beautiful memories. Take my time with this.
4. Journal to generate some options. Note which path feels most aligned with gratitude, appreciation, and love.
5. Ask, “What would the voice of wisdom and compassion say about this decision?”
6. When I feel that I have an aligned option, trust the decision and move forward with it. Let it go and don’t look back.
There are other factors that shape your circumstances and future self. I don’t want to discount these: 1) Generational wealth and privilege—whether you had it or not; 2) The environment you grew up in, to include your emotional and physical environment; 3) Systems of oppression; 4) Race, ethnicity, gender; 5) Peer and authority influences; 6) Access to support systems. There could be others that I’m missing.